Comments on: Life is no fairytale. But we have the right to make it one. http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/2009/04/life-is-no-fairytale-but-we-have-the-right-to-make-it-one Life & healing after leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses... Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:32:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Girafe http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/2009/04/life-is-no-fairytale-but-we-have-the-right-to-make-it-one/comment-page-1#comment-1504 Girafe Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:08:43 +0000 http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/?p=697#comment-1504 Hello Rob, I left the 'truth' about a year ago without being disfellowshipped. When I was a Witness, I had a friend who was wondering if he was a homosexual. He's the only one who is actually keeping in touch with me from time to time. Recently, he came to me to tell me that some experiences he did made clear to him that he couldn't be with a woman and he seemed quite lost. He thought I would encourage him to resist I guess. He seemed quite shocked that I told him I thought he shouldn't live a lie. Later on, he told me he made the decision to stay single, to deny his own self and stay in that religion, close to his family. He seemed quite lost and cried telling me that he would never actually live with someone other than roommates. It broke my heart. I can understand that, but I have to say that being a witness of all that pain, all those questions, for all these years, makes me feel so helpless... There is nothing I can do. The choice to be made is just too unfair. One or the other is unfair. My conclusion: If Jehovah was a god of love, he wouldn't even come close to put anyone in front of that tearing choice. That comforted me into my own choice, the choice to live far from those heartbreaking rules. Thank you for sharing your experience, I'm glad you were strong enough to be faithful to yourself instead of trying to please others. Hello Rob,

I left the ‘truth’ about a year ago without being disfellowshipped. When I was a Witness, I had a friend who was wondering if he was a homosexual. He’s the only one who is actually keeping in touch with me from time to time. Recently, he came to me to tell me that some experiences he did made clear to him that he couldn’t be with a woman and he seemed quite lost. He thought I would encourage him to resist I guess. He seemed quite shocked that I told him I thought he shouldn’t live a lie.

Later on, he told me he made the decision to stay single, to deny his own self and stay in that religion, close to his family. He seemed quite lost and cried telling me that he would never actually live with someone other than roommates. It broke my heart. I can understand that, but I have to say that being a witness of all that pain, all those questions, for all these years, makes me feel so helpless… There is nothing I can do. The choice to be made is just too unfair. One or the other is unfair.

My conclusion: If Jehovah was a god of love, he wouldn’t even come close to put anyone in front of that tearing choice. That comforted me into my own choice, the choice to live far from those heartbreaking rules.

Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m glad you were strong enough to be faithful to yourself instead of trying to please others.

]]> By: Kaz http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/2009/04/life-is-no-fairytale-but-we-have-the-right-to-make-it-one/comment-page-1#comment-540 Kaz Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:58:24 +0000 http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/?p=697#comment-540 Wow! Nice work Rob, well written. I'm not a fantastic writer, I'm actually better at getting my feelings out with drawing or painting. But yeah, I've been there mate. My whole family has been in and out of that stupid cult and I reckon it should be banned. Definitely, it's total mind-control and heaps of abuse going on and getting covered up, it's sh*t house. I was sort of in it, but never really could believe in it, made the mistake of marrying one of them and now divorced and well, let's just say I've wasted a lot of years and I'm pretty pissed off about it, but I'm picking up the pieces, slowly... Wow! Nice work Rob, well written. I’m not a fantastic writer, I’m actually better at getting my feelings out with drawing or painting. But yeah, I’ve been there mate. My whole family has been in and out of that stupid cult and I reckon it should be banned. Definitely, it’s total mind-control and heaps of abuse going on and getting covered up, it’s sh*t house. I was sort of in it, but never really could believe in it, made the mistake of marrying one of them and now divorced and well, let’s just say I’ve wasted a lot of years and I’m pretty pissed off about it, but I’m picking up the pieces, slowly…

]]> By: Coen http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/2009/04/life-is-no-fairytale-but-we-have-the-right-to-make-it-one/comment-page-1#comment-435 Coen Thu, 09 Apr 2009 09:02:39 +0000 http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/?p=697#comment-435 Dear Rob, How painly familiar is it to read your story. Your thoughts, your feelings, and the description that it is not about the sex. What did you think: I am the only one who feels this way, as there are no gays in the JW community? Oh my, if they only knew...but we are convinced to keep silenced, and we agree with it. Thats the shame you feel looking at your past, the idea that you have done to others what youre experiencing now. Not fitting in with your family, your former friends, your social life. Now youre starting to live your own life, and youre going to experience that life can be so beautiful, once you can fully embrace who you are. Your former friends, if you can call them friends, would be shocked if you could honestly tell them how you have felt all those years living in shame, and even thinking about how it would be to end your life. Thinking that would be the best solution for everyone. Its not, and you learned that lesson in time. I lost friends to suicide, for the same reason as you and I are. Keep on living Rob, and you will learn that people can love you for all that you are. An honest man, that will look into the mirror with pride, and can face himself. As you can tell, I have lived that life too. I lost it all, I thought, but I can now say I gained more in those years that I am an ex-JW. Yes, I lost all my relatives, my whole social background, and I struggled to regain complete selfworth. And...I found love, acceptance, appreciation. Especially love. And remember: Living well is the best revenge. Dear Rob,

How painly familiar is it to read your story. Your thoughts, your feelings, and the description that it is not about the sex. What did you think: I am the only one who feels this way, as there are no gays in the JW community? Oh my, if they only knew…but we are convinced to keep silenced, and we agree with it. Thats the shame you feel looking at your past, the idea that you have done to others what youre experiencing now. Not fitting in with your family, your former friends, your social life. Now youre starting to live your own life, and youre going to experience that life can be so beautiful, once you can fully embrace who you are.

Your former friends, if you can call them friends, would be shocked if you could honestly tell them how you have felt all those years living in shame, and even thinking about how it would be to end your life. Thinking that would be the best solution for everyone. Its not, and you learned that lesson in time. I lost friends to suicide, for the same reason as you and I are.

Keep on living Rob, and you will learn that people can love you for all that you are. An honest man, that will look into the mirror with pride, and can face himself.

As you can tell, I have lived that life too. I lost it all, I thought, but I can now say I gained more in those years that I am an ex-JW. Yes, I lost all my relatives, my whole social background, and I struggled to regain complete selfworth. And…I found love, acceptance, appreciation. Especially love.

And remember: Living well is the best revenge.

]]> By: Gilbert http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/2009/04/life-is-no-fairytale-but-we-have-the-right-to-make-it-one/comment-page-1#comment-431 Gilbert Sat, 04 Apr 2009 08:33:33 +0000 http://www.exjehovahswitness.net/?p=697#comment-431 I've always thought there's a genetic error among homosexuals. When I was in my early teens, we had two dogs - one was a female and the other one a male. One time when our gate was left open, our neighbor's dog, a big one, entered our premises. And the big dog would woo our female dog. Our male dog would come close to the visiting dog, but it would shoo him away. It would go on top of our female dog, but to no avail. When I looked closer, I found out that the big dog was a she! Being curious, I watched for about an hour how the big dog would try over and over to screw one of her kind with futility. The moral of the story? It's not just you, Str8soisspaghetti, that has been screwed up, but also lower animals. I told you, Rob, find me an employer there in Australia. Ha, ha, ha... I’ve always thought there’s a genetic error among homosexuals. When I was in my early teens, we had two dogs - one was a female and the other one a male. One time when our gate was left open, our neighbor’s dog, a big one, entered our premises. And the big dog would woo our female dog. Our male dog would come close to the visiting dog, but it would shoo him away. It would go on top of our female dog, but to no avail. When I looked closer, I found out that the big dog was a she! Being curious, I watched for about an hour how the big dog would try over and over to screw one of her kind with futility.

The moral of the story? It’s not just you, Str8soisspaghetti, that has been screwed up, but also lower animals. I told you, Rob, find me an employer there in Australia. Ha, ha, ha…

]]>