There and Back Again
The following story was shared with me by a former Jehovah’s Witness. With her permission, I am happy to share her story with you here on the blog… I felt this was a particularly touching story. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have your entire life turned upside down like hers was. Many of us “born in’s” take for granted that we were raised in the “truth” from birth… So without any further ado, I give you another ex JW story…
My family (mother, stepfather, siblings) became members of JWs when I was very young (10 or 11). I had spent some years living with my father, then returned to my mother when I was twelve. By then my family was already entrenched in the teachings of the organization. It was a very difficult adjustment for me, as I went from celebrating birthdays, the holidays, saying the Pledge of Allegiance in school…to absolutely nothing but attending meetings three times a week. However, in an effort to gain my mothers’ approval, I readily accepted my new found faith.
When I was a teenager I remember one family in particular at the local kingdom hall: an elder and his wife and their five daughters. One of the daughters was on reproof but continued to attend meetings in an effort to be reinstated. I later learned that she had become involved with a married man, but the “sin” in question is neither here nor there. What I vividly recall is the way this young lady was forced to attend meetings while at the same time being treated as though she didn’t even exist, then when she was reinstated everyone literally welcomed her back with open arms! In retrospect I now realize what a hypocritical way to treat a fellow human being, to treat them lower than dirt on your shoe one moment then act like they were your best friend the next. My mother defended the elders’ position, but I thought this was something that should be handled privately and not put out for public consumption.
As a teenager I was not permitted to take part in any extra-curricular school activities, not allowed to attend football games or dances, not allowed to date. I was not permitted to attend my senior prom because “there would be boys there.” I remember becoming quite enamoured of one of the brothers in the congregation, and after confessing my feelings to my mother, I received a long letter from her discouraging my feelings for him, as he was of a different race (I am white; he was black). I recall thinking, “but he’s a brother.” I guess we are all equal in the eyes of Jehovah, but actually we are not so equal.
When I was 14 my stepfather had an affair with a girl four years older than me that resulted in an unintended pregnancy. She was not a JW. My stepfather left my mother, and my mother went to the elders for guidance. As in typical good-old-boy network fashion, they told my mother that they were not marriage counselors and basically to “suck it up.” My stepfather eventually returned to the family and in no way, shape or form supported his illegitimate child, then had the audacity to cite scriptures out of the other corner of his mouth. Typical hypocrite. My mother finally left him two years ago.
I was baptized when I was 15, but did so for all the wrong reasons. Again, this was an effort on my part to gain my mothers’ love and approval, but I digress. When I was 18 I finally left home, as I could no longer tolerate the stifling conditions under which I lived. When I was 20 I decided to join the armed forces, and after making a special trip to see my mother to tell her of my decision in person, she turned and walked away from me without uttering a word. I had been disowned by my mother. It was not long after that I found out I had been disfellowshipped by the JWs. It was years before I could let go of the guilt for having been disfellowshipped, but the more information I find regarding the true nature of this organization, the more I am convinced that being disfellowshipped was a huge blessing in disguise.
Eventually my mother and stepfather “fell away” from the truth. I was not about to give up on my mother and we eventually recovered our relationship; today we have a very close mother-daughter bond. Even now, years later, the elders in the local congregation where my mother and stepfather live continue to attempt to exert their hold on my parents. My mother is quite prepared to tell them where to get off, and my stepfather? Well, lets just say he’s going off the deep end where religion is concerned.
There are a few other events that stand out in my mind, but I think I have divulged enough for now. I have not lost my faith in God, but currently am not affiliated with any religious group, although I have attended Catholic and Lutheran church services.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Yet another ex-JW.
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Excellent,
Moxie thank you for sharing this (and thanks to the person sharing)!
To the brave one who wrote this ;
Thank you for just writing your story - without cliches , easy answers and desperation - which you purposely must be avoiding. Aren’t these ‘ mini- escapes ‘ so tempting ? Avoidance is so easy - but you chose not to.
That is strength - just to put it out there - not having the answers but just saying it.
Thank you -
I read that 30 percent of Children raised as Witnesses remain so as adults. The Governing body depends on these raised Witnesses. Without them, the J.W. future as a religion would be bleak. Outsiders coming in, without a J.W. family backgroud, seem to be very few, at least in English speaking lands; and I think these are the ones that leave the “truth” after a couple years. They’re just not deep rooted enough to remain after the original passion wears off, and they become disillusioned for one reason or another. It’s family ties that keep The children connected with the “truth” after they become adults, a fact the Governing Body has become more and more adept at exploiting.
The Governing Body knows all this and is scared. If you’ve looked at the Watchtower recently, you can see much of material is to win over teenage-early 20’s demographic. They know the future of the religion will ride with the young Witnesses coming of age. That’s where the battleground of their survival will be fought.
Janet says:
I was saddened by the plight of this ex-witness. I am afraid that individuals and not the orgnaisation are responsible for this ‘attitude’ of families turning their backs on each other! I am still a witness and pioneered after overcoming cerebral palsy and deafness. My daughter is not a JW but I always put her first. I even successfully helped her in a court case when she got involved with a wrong crowd who drew her into an affray: she was not guilty in my opinion.
I made the ‘truth’ my own and would have been proud to be your mother even though you had left and joined the army! I think that it is individuals listening to what others say and nothing to do with Jesus and the Bible that causes the above sad situation. I will never leave the organisation because where else would I go to get my ’spiritual food’! Due to ill health I now have the meetings over the phone link system. This is kind of the brothers. Family is family and this bond should never be broken.
Moxie such a touching story. You are so brave. I am also a ex-jw(unfortunately I was born into the cult) When you talked about your mother turning and walking away from you I understood your pain,my mother unfortunately is still in the cult. My mother has had 2 cancer operations and I stand by her side. Even though I don’t live near, every chance I get I see her and do what I can for her. So far our love is stronger than the cult. I refuse to let any JW drive a wedge between me and my mother. I am trying to stay on topic but I must mention this since your story brought out some memories. My mother’s first cancer operation a JW like a “watchdog”stayed all day at the hospital just to make sure my mother did not except a blood transfusion. I had to look at that person all day long in the family lounge at the hospital waiting for the doctor to come out and talk to me, I was so upset! Also the JW knew me and was trying to preach to me. I told them I wasn’t interested. I left a few times, came back and they were still there! I’ll leave it at that for now,but I just wanted to thankyou for sharing your story. Your strength has helped me fight for my mother and not let this cult take her.
hi moxie I would like to thank the ex-jw’s strength for sharing their story with you and you are able to share with others.(I was reading too fast and assumed it was your story)
you are nothing but a liar, im not a jehovah witness but i have friends that are jw. and they are very decent remarkable people. i think you just didnt want to be good and do jehovah will and wanted to find millions of excuses to not be part of it. lie to every one but not to the one upthere. he can see you…
you were there to serve god not any one else,
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