The Crime of Critical Thinking…
In response to the invitation for former Jehovah’s Witnesses to share their stories, I am pleased to present James’ story…
—
“I’m actually a 24 yr old that was raised a JW. Since I can remember, this is all that I’ve known. I started the same way as most, a little comment here and there, moving on to publisher, then baptism. I was baptized when I was 13. Also like many, I’ve developed many friendships with people in my age bracket. My story begins with the day that I actually began college.
I’m currently 2 classes away from having a degree in Computer Science and ever since day one, many, including my own grandmother have looked down on me for this. My parents have been very supportive until recently when I started to voice my opinions after years of keeping them to myself.
I’ve always had a few qualms with this faith starting in my teen years. One being of course their college viewpoint of basically discouraging higher education. This never really phased me because, even though I didn’t exactly know it at the time, I knew what was going to be best for me. My doubt setting in at a District Convention in Philadelphia where I was serving as an attendant. Growing up we all seek to find our own personal style, something we can call our own. Mine was my hair. That assembly weekend, I decided to grow my hair and my sideburns. I was doing my attendant job quite well, and I remember sitting in the hallway during the mid-day break and people were staring. Strange, but I thought nothing of it. About 15 minutes into the second half of the assembly, my father, who was also working as one of the heads of the attendants and the head of the attendants walked up to me and pulled me into their office. My dad looked hurt, and in turn that concerned me. I was told that numerous older witnesses had complained about my appearance, that I did not look like a Witness, that they were offended by me. Despite my genuine politeness and courtesy, my sideburns somehow offended these same people. I was promptly removed from my position that I thought I had worked hard to get. Embarrassing. I was sort of crushed that no matter how kind I was, my sideburns were more important. The rest of that weekend I just sat there in my seat with my mother and just wondered how can someone not look like a Christian. How can someone not look like a Chirstian? Was their a uniform that I wasn’t told about? I had no idea. All I knew was that something about this was not right to me.
One week during the same year, yet another seemingly trivial event triggered something inside of me….I forgot to shave, which we know is a cardinal sin. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw, so I grew it out. At the time I was living at home and my dad was an elder, all I ever heard was, “Son you have to shave for the meeting.” So for a while I conceded, toeing the line between beard and stubble. When I went, Id get the ole stink eye from just about everyone except for my 2 best friends (the others had moved to different towns).
Over time, my dad disagreed with some of his fellow elders on some matters who then deemed him ‘angry’ and ‘unfit for leadership’ for voicing his opinions on some comments that was going on within a private meeting, which he stated were ‘uneducated statements’. Anyway, he got ‘deleted’ and to add to it they added another reason for the loss of his position, his rebellious son. Time went on, he was bitter but not enough to act on his real feelings.
I came home from college with my beard in full effect. Fully grown out, I was proud! So since i was still attending meetings @ the time i went and got sooooo many more dirty looks. Elders would pull me aside after meetings to tell me that my facial hair was unacceptable and that I cannot properly worship God with facial hair. Why? Because its worldly. A mustache was the only acceptable facial hair for a true christian man to have. I ignored, not speaking my thoughts. Time went on and they proceeded ask if the growth was a cry for help….like I was an 11 year old. Truly insulting and demeaning. Week after week the same things, “Christians don’t wear beards”,”you cant worship right with facial hair.” So I finally snapped and asked them to show me, In the Bible where it says such a thing…to no avail. All they could drum up was their “trump” scripture saying that “we are no part of the world”. I replied by adding that the ‘world’ wears hats…they go to work…they drink beer…they wear loud suits to church..so explain that. That was avoided.
So since my reasoning didn’t seem to work with them, I though maybe they would understand a scripture. I said here read this scripture in John 7 :24 “”Do not judge according to outward appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” OH WAIT!!! YOU’RE TAKING THAT SCRIPTURE OUT OF CONTEXT THAT’S NOT WHAT IT MEANS!! And I made it fairly clear to them that you are the first ones to stand on that stage and tell us that Scriptures are to be read for how they are written and to not twist words around to fit our own usage. There is no possible way to twist John 7:24, what it says is exactly what it means…they were the ones trying to twist it around to make their point sound relevant.
From that point on, I was labeled as ‘independent thinker’..even by my own parents. I remember the last meeting I went to with some sort of respect for it, their whole Watchtower was condemning independent thinking. It made my stomach turn. It wasn’t even subtle either. Everyone just commenting mindlessly as if to show off some sort of pseudo intelligence.
I currently still live at home until I graduate.
Just last month I had returned home one afternoon only to be met with the Watchtower study article for the week, which I had declined to participate in. They asked me if the paradise hope was real to me and if the “truth” was real to me. I said no. TO which they implored that I do ‘personal study’ to change my viewpoints to the right way of thinking. Ive exhausted myself over time trying to express my feelings only to have them downplayed as a phase or spiritual immaturity.
All I could do was smile and leave.
The sad part of it is that my parents are just like me,they know there are things that are not right or justified. I know them so well that I can see them stifling how they really feel and just follow because they are frightened. I will soon be on my own and hope to keep a decent relationship with my parents, only time will tell.”
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Jehovahs Witnesses dogmas:
1) 1914 false for Jesus second coming (they say it was an *invisible presence* emperor new clothes fashion)
2) Many false prophecies that you dared to print up by the millions and cannot deny
3) Only literal 144 000 only go to heaven
4) Corruption in leadership.
5) Child abuse and abuse of your elderly many who put faith in the imminent *new system* and did not put away for their old age retirement .
6) Thousands who died for the WT flip-flopping ban on blood transfusions.
Ive seen too many examples of #5. People in their 60’s still working in factories for support because they put all their chips on the ‘new system’.
And on #3…well, my grandmother claims to be a part of this 144, 000. Shes a lovely, sweetheart of a woman, love her to death, but she’s known for going over the top in every aspect of life lol. I could never even ask her how she knows without getting blasted. Eh.
Your experience with your parents when revealing your non-belief is so similar to mine. My parents couldn’t fathom me not believing it anymore. I just needed more “personal study” and “prayer” and it will make it all better. I think the biggest thing Jehovah’s Witnesses need to learn is that you can’t solve all your problems with prayer and study.
Critical Thinking: Vegetarianism
JWs have no prohibitions on eating any food, provided it isn’t “Blood Sausage”, but they do teach that vegetarianism is what will take place in the paradise earth.
Now reread this text
“Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will renounce the faith by paing attention to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared with a hot iron. They forbid marriage AND DEMAND ABSTINENCE FROM FOODS,which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth” - 1 Timothy 4:1-3 New Revised SV
So the question is, Is the new system in paradise earth, a later time, when the WTBS says to abstain from foods, (i.e) all meats?
Watchtower is “hypocracy of liars,” demons etc..
Brothers we would do well to avoid such false profits.
(clap,clap,clap,clap)
I fully understand you. I too am a witness, with a designer-stublle type beard for which I will certainly get no priviliges. This whole beard thing is unscriptural and feels to me like adding unnecessary burden as acts 15:28 states should not happen. To me this is comparable to the load the pharisees put on the people with their oral traditions. There are other things in the organization I find not biblical and certainly not Jehovah’s way of thinking - such as the chauvinisme and the idea that witnesses are the only ones that will be saved. Who are we to judge?
However with the 80/20 (80% of faith is correct, 20% is human interpretation) rule in mind - I do not know of a better alternative. So continue.
Hope this helps you understand you are not alone - and the only important thing at the end of the day is your relationship with Jehovah.
Hang in there!
James,
Since my last comment on 07/28, I have read the books “Crisis of Conscience” and “In search of christian freedom” both by Raymond Franz. This shows very clearly that the WTBTS is not Gods sole communication source and certainly is not THE truth.
Recommended reading for all Witnesses in any doubt. These two books put any doubts I had to rest and I have started fading away…
Read these books and decide for yourself, but Revelation 18:4 certainly applies to the WTBTS.
Good health to you.
HI
i know how you feal i grew up as a JW too and the defining moment for me is when i asked my mother if she would rather me be happy or JW and she paused and refused to respond after i told her i wanted to go to UNI. JW put to much pressure to conform that in the end i just wanted to stand up and yell ARE YOU PEOPLE KIDDING ME THIS IS SUCH CRAP!
You have to do the right thing for you, it is your choice and your Parents will have to respect it.
Trust me they will be waiting in the wings to see if you fall flat on your face and then re direct you back in to the Org should you leave for good.
Its your life and you gotta live it, I can remember when going to college was a disfellowshiping act, I listen to the people around me feared losing my Sisters and family and gave up my College chance.
I wish I was strong like you, I raised my boys in the Org but we were not a strict household, since my husband was always video game addicted he was never much of a brother either. So it was pretty much left up to me, and I was a liberal so following the rules was never my strong point.
I wish more Young people were like you who are trapped in there, though here on the East Coast many of them do go to College but just not the sleep away kind LOL.
hi my name is Sean, I.ve just read the above page.My view is we are all going back to God as we are made up of energy and energy cannot die so where else would we go.If you take God as an energy source of which we are part of if we did not go back his energy would be depleated which cannot happen.i.ve raed up on taking blood in the Bible and as i see it God was talking to men at the time who had no knoledge on wheather or not blood could be consumed so he just said not to drink it.as we now know with science humans cannot consume blood as it will make us sick.So God at the time gave guidence for man not to drink blood but to drain it first before cooking.To me it was a simple guide as men were not educated at that time.The question is what if your wrong how will Jesus judge by not taking blood.my view is that there was nothing before God so he made humans as to judge himself,for if there was nothing before you how can you judge yourself.which means if we are nade in his image we are part off God which means we can only go back to him when we die.if you cannot question a belief is that not a dictatorship?.if every religion is right then every religion is wrong.i think if your true to yourself and question every thing then you come up with your own beliefs and whats wrong with that.for 5.3 billion people on the planet and 7 million Jehovah,s witness to either stay on or go to heaven where does all the rest off the energy go to when we die as energy cannot die only move on ?who said any religion is right?which means were all right.If your good to people and look out for each other i thing your closer to God.Rutherford did not take Russell,s beliefs so who was right. I think both and both were wrong.if we do not have our own mind who has it?
im not a jehovah witness but i think they are great remarkable people and it is sad to see what people are capable of when they want to do bad and not good . jehovah most be a real good god to make those jehovah witness execellent people with a good behavior, sorry to not agree with you but if you really wanted to keep a good relationship with god you would do anything to keep him happy as he gave you life to keep you happy.. but in the end human loses any way, the one upthere has nothing to lose.
James,
Run! Especially once you get your degree and start getting paid. You will have to make all new friends, so you’ll have to be patient, and you will have to sort out the morals you want to keep and the ones you don’t, but you will and you’ll find lots of good people. You’ll see how ugly JW’s can get and maybe your parents won’t have the guts to stand up to their peer pressure on your behalf and leave them as well, and if they don’t you may see the ugly side of your parents being disloyal to you, but that’s a sad reality. You may be disappointed and even suffer setbacks from being shunned - lack of emotional and sometimes economic support. Don’t let that make you think you’re making a mistake. That’s why they shun, because they hope that if they give you a hard time, you’ll give up and come back. It’s not Satan that’s making you suffer - it’s them. It’s not Jehovah who rewards you by coming back - it’s them. Oldest psychological trick in the book.
You can find other nice people to have as friends until one day you start your own family and show them that you can be a good person without being a JW. I now associate with Universal-Unitarians because they encourage independent thinking and focus on what most people have in common and go to church for like exchanging well-wishing, being thoughtful and supportive of each other through the ups and downs of life, doing meaningful community service, etc. We take insight and inspiration from many religious and secular works. We teach the kids in Sunday School all major world religions and encourage them to pick one or none, whichever suits their conscience.
You seem smart and nice. You can be a good person and not a JW or Christian for that matter! Most popular religion is based on a false sense of security. JW’s tell you that if you do this, that, and that, you’ll be happy forever within the current organisation and forever after in paradise. Here’s the fallacy - No’one really knows what we don’t know and there are no guarantees! I was so frustrated looking for them and never really finding them and am now actually happier accepting that there are no guarantees in this life or after and, because of that, enjoy each day and spread as much positivity as I can and enjoy my life and health why I have it, all the while following the golden rule. I am more Christian than most Christians I know. This is what I call my agnostic faith. I had the conflicting combination of having a JW mom a completely non-religious dad. We went to church and heard that we shouldn’t celebrate holidays if we wanted god to love us and then our dad gave us holiday presents. How irresponsible of my mother to raise us to feel bad about good things! Especially to take us to a place where we heard that our real life was bad and that somehow my father, more moral than most Christians I know, was someone to be ashamed of! They’ll deny they ever said that, but their expressed notions of good and bad ie JW vs non-JW were prejudiced against my dad from the get go and status system they have is designed to be more supportive of the families that are all in it together. A couple sociology and psychology classes made that clear, too. Information control is a cult feature. Every religion has a few cult features, some more than others. Discouraging college is obviously information control because education and critical thinking are a threat to the memorization and repetition concept of the church. I learned early about the cognitive disconnect that people are capable of, but it wasn’t until I went to college that I learned the words to describe it. I think Freedom of Religion is the last legal child abuse. I remember my childhood overshadowed with conflict and anxiety from JW politics that I was asked to evangelize at a young age. I didn’t fit in with the JW’s because my dad wasn’t one and I didn’t fit in anywhere else because I was one. Even my dad was disappointed that I wanted to be like my mom! How could my mom pit me against everyone like that, just so she could maintain her security blanket illusion which allowed her to avoid facing the pain in life by avoiding it and getting caught up in JW la-la-land. I don’t think it’s ok to tell kids that god won’t love them, especially not for arbitrary things, like celebrating birthdays and the hair thing you mentioned. Get used to that one, though. Other organizations you may work for may require a clean cut look. But it’s more about marketing than morals, as you are finding. Most JW’s aren’t smart enough to be aware of what they’re doing, though. If they were, they’d be too smart to be JW’s. JW’s aren’t the only religion guilty of not giving people a hard time about the right things and giving others a hard time about the wrong things. No wonder there are so many churches and yet still so many people who still have a void to fill and fill it with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, lust, entertainment, food . . .
I do give the JW’s credit for developing my verbal strength at a young age. Being forced to memorize things helped me memorize things to do well in school. The theocratic ministry school prepared me to do well in sales. Sadly, though, that’s all it really does for people who are still JW’s, too. If you take a marketing class, you can see how manipulated you really were or “guided” at best. JW’s can’t believe they’re a cult because no’one seems to be profiting financially. Well anyone making a living, or at least having their family provided for in the headquarters, even just the basics, is profiting at least that much and everyone else gets ego profits of praise and status as they follow a track. Everyone else profits by maintaining the illusion of their false security.
This is the first time I ever reached out on-line. I’m 30 now and I rejected JW’s when I was a teen. My rebellion was similar to yours, except I didn’t have any facial hair to grow, so I just stopped dressing up for meetings. I wore jeans and sweatshirts. If my mom was going to make me go, she couldn’t make me dress up, and she, like the elders couldn’t give me any moral reason. In fact, churches should welcome everyone and it shouldn’t be about fashion. I understand wanting to get dressed up, too, to present your best self, but that’s a personal choice, and shouldn’t be a religious requirement. Some others tried the “Those dresses you used to wear were so nice . . .” I was already too smart and over it. I never regret not going back. It is amazing how things do creep up even this far and this much education later where I have an anal reaction to something and I realize I’m thinking in the dualistic absolute terms of a JW and I have to unravel the knot I get into and reconstruct the thought in relative terms. Sometimes, I get an almost PTSD reaction and panic if I sense conflict or fear that everyone will turn against me if I say something counter current. I have enough experience and new skills now, like conflict resolution, to work through that one, too, but it’s amazing how much that culture affected me. The fact that I’m pouring my heart out in the middle of the night to reach out to a stranger to say it’s ok, you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, you’re actually on the path to sanity.
If anyone wants to email me directly, you can at alelebo@yahoo.com
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