Comments on: Leaving the Watchtower

By: Rien

Rien — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:25:38 +0000

Thanks for a clear overview of possible routes to go after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses.
My brother left early and is now Born Again, I stopped going about 8 years ago and am now attached to nothing, although humanism seems attractive.
I continue to feel awe, respect and gratitude and try to express it, but I don’t know to whom.
All in all, factual truth is found through science, but there is “truth” beyond science, I think. Morality, meaning, purpose, hope are not scientifically achieved, yet very important to me. I’ve accepted that many questions cannot be answered right now, or even forever. Atheism / materialism seems empty and insufficient, on the other hand: man with beard in the sky? I think not.
And yet: hummingbirds, the periodic table of elements, the wild complexity of particle physics, etc., etc. How? Why?

By: falterer

falterer — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:36:00 +0000

Shawn: yes, I didn’t mean to suggest Jehovah’s Witnesses’ study methods are utterly without merit. If nothing else they do promote literacy to a demographic that typically undervalues it.

Lance: I agree wholeheartedly; ethical behavior is universally valuable and admirable. I think that’s why I identified with humanism so readily after accepting atheism.

By: Lance

Lance — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:10:05 +0000

Interesting description…
I agree that many fall into the Gone Wild category and want to experiment with evrything that was prohibited as a JW.

I’m not saying that we should keep a JW moral midset, but we should make wise moral choices, even if we are godless.

Me? I’m an agnostic. I was one even for my last few months as an active JW. I lost my belief in an afterlife a few years back. It shattered my mind!

Keep on writing… it makes for a thoughful read.

Lance

By: Brian

Brian — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:16:43 +0000

What a stimulating post! I’m familiar with all of those categories, but I’d definitely say that the flip-floppers and kids gone wild are the most common. I’ve also seen the kids gone wild get older and turn into flip-floppers.
Replacements are rare. I know of only two. When I was a JW, I thought about them and said to myself “how on earth could they teach the lies of Christendom!?”
I personally am one of the godless, and happy to be that way. Thanks again for the post!

Brian
http://www.godless-heathen.com

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:10:07 +0000

I very much enjoyed reading this. I think there is an additional group out there that is a melding of all the groups in stages. Personally, I have fallen into each and every group and almost in the same order as you’ve listed them. First I left the organization, then with all that new freedom I went wild socially, then I broke up with my boyfriend and found my new “wild” life lonely and depressing so I returned to the organization (and my family), then disgusted with the same things that disgusted me the first time (namely, the “big brother” aspect of living) I left again, married another former Jehovah’s Witness (how lucky!), and my search began. I looked into every religion for an answer, Catholicism, Universal Unitarianism, Kabbalhism, Judaism, and so on, until finally settling on Buddhism as more of a “way to live my life” instead of just a religion. Then one day quite recently, while driving in my car and listening to an NPR story about the earthquake related deaths in China I had a sudden epiphany: There is no god. It’s up to us (humankind) to save ourselves. We’re all in this together, but alone, meaning without supernatural interference. It was the single most frightening and exciting feeling I’ve ever had. To both reject the idea of God while embracing the idea of godlike qualities in humans… Very non-JW thinking there.

I am so grateful to people like you who are willing to intelligently discuss the experiences you’ve been through so that we may all share and heal. It does take a long time, if ever, to get the organization out of your system. In a way, I’m glad I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, despite the strained relationship with my family. It made me who I am today. And that’s not so bad.

Thanks again for a great article.

By: Shawn Holland

Shawn Holland — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:47:51 +0000

Good job! I think you’ve covered the vast majority of the ex-jay-dubs. I also fall into the atheist category. For a time, I looked into Buddhism {which is why I officially got the boot - “Brother, you’re dedicated for life or dedicated to death” ~Well I guess I won’t see you in hell then~ }, but the supernatural aspects rubbed me the wrong way. I still think the practice of meditation and non-violence is beneficial, but only in the present. Techinically, you can reject the supernatural aspects of Buddhism and still be considered a Buddhist, but I think it’s important for people to know that one does not have to believe in fairy tales to be an ethical person.

I half agree with falterer about the study habits learned as a JW. While it’s true that the society doesn’t teach people to think critically, it does give one lots of practice in focusing on a subject. Once a person adds critical thinking to the ability to focus on a subject, then they can really be effective.

The other thing that I am actually really grateful for is the extensive public speaking and debate training. I tell people that when you can talk to a complete stranger at their door about an unpopular religion, all other subjects are a cake walk.
I’ve been lurking on your blog for a while now, so I thought I’d introduce myself. Feel free to say hi.

By: anon

anon — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:43:33 +0000

Thank you

By: falterer

falterer — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 06:49:52 +0000

Nicely done. I disagree with you on only one point, which isn’t even particularly important in your article, but still stood out to me:

“They have a desire to learn, a skeptic’s point of view and above all, a desire to find answers based on evidence… Ironically they have been given these tools by the very religion which they left.”

I think Jehovah’s Witnesses’ study system actually works /against/ critical thinking (skepticism and empiricism especially). The most common lesson format Jehovah’s Witnesses use is a variation on elementary and middle-school “comprehension” exercises. Scriptural references are sprinkled throughout to make study seem less linear, and students are encouraged to find inventive ways to agree with a paragraph’s main point, perhaps looking up perfect nouns or phrases in the Insight book or on the CD-ROM, but anything outside JW literature is considered dangerous, and material is worded so definitely and authoritatively that additional study often seems superfluous anyway. The study habits we learned as Jehovah’s Witnesses merely limited our credulity to a single authority. That’s not a skeptic’s point of view, it’s just enforced narrow-mindedness.

Similarly, Jehovah’s Witnesses only encourage students to look at evidence that fits the story they tell. Rather than “a desire to find answers based on evidence”, this instills a desire to find evidence that fits the answer, dismissing all that doesn’t.

By the time I realized and accepted that Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t have “the truth”, I’d already altered my study system dramatically. The change wasn’t obvious or dramatic, but I do study differently now, lot just looking for new ways to articulate and elaborate on an answer, but looking for the answer itself.

By: Moxie

Moxie — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:42:39 +0000

ps: I forgot to add: please let me know if you think I’ve missed any categories and likewise I welcome polite criticism if you think I’m wrong.

Looking forward to your insight!