Leaving the Watchtower
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how fortunate I am to have escaped religion in its truest sense. This isn’t just about leaving the Watchtower behind, it’s about being free of religion as a whole; escaping the guilt and the fear - and all relatively unscathed. I’ve said before that it takes a long time to become indoctrinated and I feel it’s true that it can sometimes take just as long, if not a lifetime to un-indoctrinate yourself; in my own case, the better part of 8 years.

But what happens when you leave the Watchtower behind, or any other fundamental religion for that matter? I feel that I am one of a very small minority that survived such an exodus without any serious or damaging effects. It is true that I have forever-and-a-day to contend with the fact that I have lost my family permanently; and that is no small difficulty. But what I’m talking about here is something else that I have seen when individuals leave the Watchtower, especially young people who were raised in the society. It can be agreed that they generally embark on a journey almost completely alone and with a great deal of naivety.

There are a few types of behaviors that I have identified. By no means does this come from any official study, but from my own personal observations. I have noticed and identified a few different groups relating to a person’s behavior and actions when they leave the Watchtower Society. I have no idea as to the ratio between these groups, nevertheless I’ve categorized them as follows:

1. The Flip-Floppers
2. Boys & Girls Gone Wild
3. The Replacements
4. The Godless

The Flip-Floppers

First looking at the group I call the Flip-Floppers, these are individuals who (to borrow a religious term) exist in what you might call a state of limbo. I’ve witnessed such persons on many occasions who will leave the Watchtower, attempt to start a life outside of the society but are constantly hindered by feelings of guilt and fear. As a result they will ultimately return to the religion. This is a cycle that can repeat and continue for years or even most of their lives. It is my opinion that these people are so marred by the doctrine and absolutist teachings of the Watchtower that when they are confronted with issues in the ‘real world’ they feel conflicted, and as a result return to the society they know.

A sub-group within this category are those individuals who have periods of relative happiness outside of the religion, but when confronted with some sort of personal crisis such as breaking up with a romantic partner, losing a friend or loved one, or even losing a job, they suddenly feel very alone. In such a situation I believe that they idealize the social aspects of the congregation they were once part of, and attempt to return to the society in a state of weakness if not helplessness.

Boys & Girls Gone Wild

This next group I refer to as Boys & Girls Gone Wild. These are the a-typical rebels who upon leaving the society no longer have the strict moral governance they were once used to. As a result I have seen many of these individuals begin down an innocent and naive, yet extremely self-destructive path. It has been my observation that these are people who have (generally) been raised within the society and they are usually youths or young adults.

Looking at the context of the behavior of these individuals as well as their perceptions of the world around them, one has to concede that they are entering a world with extreme naivety. Generally they have been very sheltered and repressed either in a social and/or sexual sense. Given our innate nature to be inquisitive creatures, especially at a young age, these individuals are exploring and experiencing the world around them. It is like their “college experience” only too often these youngsters do not even have the relative shelter of an educational environment, instead they are all alone in a great big world.

Sadly this group all too likely will be exceedingly trusting and nondiscriminatory when it comes to acquaintances or actives. They have been brought up in a relatively safe and exclusive society, where with the exception of the occasional child-molester, they can ‘theoretically’ trust anyone. Now picture yourself in that situation, you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready and excited to experience the world beyond your previous boarders. Certainly there are countless wonderful experiences to be had, yet at the same time, discretion is always in order. Unfortunately and inescapably there are people in the world who would wish to do us harm and more often than that, are selfish and will take advantage of the naivety of an inexperienced and compassionate person.

I could go on to tell you of personal friends, friends that I grew up with, who have gone down this path. I have seen a young woman end up in a mental institution because of an extreme crystal-meth addiction. Her road started innocently enough, and my heart breaks for her. I can’t help but think that although there were many factors that lead her there, indeed to a great extent the society left her predisposed to such an end result. Her abandonment by her friends and family, the fact that she was completely alone without even the simplest parental guidance left her open and vulnerable. Now I am not blaming the Watchtower for her addiction, but I do hold them partly responsible. The fact that the society forbade her parents from speaking with her even when she first (and innocently) left the society, was a big factor in her downfall. We all have free will and not everyone comes to this eventuality, so let us now look at the next group.

The Replacements

You may think of a famous band when you hear me refer to The Replacements, but this group actually has nothing to do with music, rather this third category refers to those individuals who, upon leaving the Watchtower Society go on to find another religion. I have come across many former Jehovah’s Witnesses who have eventually subscribed to another religious ideology, the most common of which to my understanding, are Born Again Christians and Pagans. You may think that these two groups have absolutely nothing in common with each other and, to a certain extent that is correct, but let’s look at the possible allure of such beliefs from the perspective of a former Jehovah’s Witness.

To understand the enticement former Jehovah’s Witnesses may have towards becoming a Born Again Christian lies in understanding a little of the Watchtower’s doctrine. Jehovah’s Witnesses put their faith in God himself and not Jesus, they pray directly to God only through Jesus, and they rest their hope for salvation in God and look to Jesus only as God’s intermediary. An examination of scripture may often lead one to believe that it should really be the other way around. Born Agains put their faith in Jesus, they pray to him and look to him for their ultimate salvation.  Its very name alone suggests that one has been re-born. In the case of a former Jehovah’s Witness, I believe that such an individual is still indoctrinated with the guilt and fear associated with Christianity and although they have abandoned the teachings of the Watchtower find a new spin and solace in religion as a Born Again.  It allows them to retain their belief in God and to be guided by another religious institution, indeed the teachings have enough similarities and differences to satisfy the needs of their ever present guilt and fear.

Paganism on the other hand is not at all similar to Watchtower teachings, in fact you couldn’t get much farther away. I think the allure in Paganism lies in it’s differences from the Watchtower. Paganism is not devil worship as many would incorrectly describe it, rather it can be divided into three groups. The first group is Historical Polytheism such as in historic Celtic and Norse paganism. The second is defined as Folk/Ethnic/Indigenous Religions, such as Chinese folk religion and African tradition religion. Lastly, our third group is Neo-paganism such as Wicca and Germanic Neo-paganism. The structure or lack thereof differs greatly from one to another in that there can be as much or as little structure as one wishes. Paganism is not at all like any of the monotheistic religions, while at the same time it provides the comforting ideas of life after death, reincarnation, etc.

Certainly there are a host of other religions that former Jehovah’s Witnesses can and do eventually subscribe to. Ultimately, whatever the religion, it is my belief that although they have left the Watchtower behind, they still seek the solace of a religion or belief system that tells them that they will survive their own death and one that guides by letting them know when they have been bad or good. I am reminded of Pat Condell, Comedian and Atheist, and how he describes religion, as “the shameless abandonment of personal responsibility.” Indeed, the concepts of original sin and of absolution create a scapegoat for our own actions whether they be good or bad. I believe that this group of people are still held captive by the fear-tactics of religion and so submit themselves to a religion that is less-obviously cult-like so that they can continue to exercise the god part of their brain, they can continue to use faith to ignore the unexplained and extraordinary claims of religion and ultimately they can still believe in the comforting thought of life after death.

The Godless

This brings me to the fourth and final group of former Jehovah’s Witnesses - The Godless. This group includes Agnostics and Atheists, although in reality Agnostics tend to tread a thin line between The Replacements and The Godless, but for the sake of keeping things simple I’ve included them here.

Since Jehovah’s Witnesses are taught to accept the teachings of the Watchtower in an absolute and unquestioned sense, I think that when individuals leave they can naturally be predisposed to becoming great skeptics. These people, myself included often believed whole-heartedly in the Watchtower and when suddenly the “truth” of the doctrine was shattered, we are left in a severe state of disenchantment. I think it’s true that many who are faced with the reality that something which seemed so believable and true was actually false, are left with the resolution that they must never succumb to this type of error ever again. Although they may, as I did, study and seek ‘truth’ in other religions, this group will not accept anything for face value. Rather they require some kind of evidence or a clear understanding of the teachings before they could subscribe/submit. In my own case, if I came across some teaching (in my religious studies) that was purely authoritative without supporting facts or reasoning, I found that I instantly dismissed it as man-made or pure superstition. The bottom line was that I would not make the same mistake again. If I wanted a false religion, I would simply go back to the Watchtower and suck it up so that I could be with my family. That though was never really an option in my mind.

As a Jehovah’s Witness, one is taught how to study, how to absorb information (albeit only Watchtower information), how to answer questions and what to think. When those four things are woven into the intellectual fabric of an individual they can find themselves in a unique if not frightening situation when the leave the society. Jehovah’s Witnesses have a kind of theocratic education, that in some ways could be considered superior to that of other religions, even though it is a flawed, subjective and interpretive one. That aside, when one leaves the organization they have the tools to be able to read an absorb information. Indeed they are used to having their nose in a book virtually every day. Once they leave the society it is no great leap for intellectually minded persons to begin reading and studying other books and acquiring new information. To add to that, since they were (formerly) used to being an authority on the subject of God and religion (Watchtower style), they now find themselves in unfamiliar territory. Now they are virgins as it were, to the goings-on and religions of the world. This I believe can cause many to want to learn as much as they can since they may feel confused and dissatisfied without a good level of understanding. Going from expert to novice in one foul swoop is something that such a person could have a desire to remedy. Lastly, since they had been taught ‘what’ to think, I think it is easy to assume that they will reject this mentality in the future and will form a kind of skeptical mind, looking for answers based on evidence.

All these things together are a recipe for Agnosticism or Atheism. It has been my experience that there was no absolute truth to be found in any religion. I wandered for 8 years seeking a religion that offered answers, one that could convince me; I wanted to be sold on a religion, it didn’t matter which one. The problem was that in spite of it all, I was a skeptic. I was looking for answers based on evidence and we know there is none of that to be found in religion. I eventually became an Agnostic, humming and hawing about whether or not God really existed but realizing that if he did, he had absolutely nothing to do with the world’s religions or ideologies.

It is proven that there’s a clear and distinct correlation between higher education (particularly in the sciences) and Atheism. It was when I ventured from studying religion to learning more about the nature of our world, its history, our own biology and the universe that  I first glimpsed truth, evidence and fact. It was this that ultimately lead to my Atheism. I had to give up the belief in life after death, which in truth was the most difficult notion to shed but one that I am prepared to leave behind. I do not wish to delude myself with false ideas, I prefer to live my life for what it is and make the absolute most of it. And my idea of “the most” is by helping others and leaving this world a little bit better off by my having been in it.

I believe that this “Godless” group has been given the building blocks to find real truth. They have a desire to learn, a skeptic’s point of view and above all, a desire to find answers based on evidence. Indeed, they have a point of reference with which to compare and analyze any new information. Ironically they have been given these tools by the very religion which they left, the Watchtower. These tools, along with their own innate thoughtful curiosity leads them to a reality without God, a reality without fairy tales, a reality based on science and understanding.

I am reminded of a brilliant quote by Christopher Hitchens, a famous Intellect and Atheist who said about religion, “What can be asserted without evidence, can also be dismissed without evidence.”

Concluding Rhetoric

I often wonder, where would I be today without all this? Would I be the captive of some other moderate religion, fearful of hellfire or some other type of damnation? I risk using a cliche but it sums up my feelings so perfectly; I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes there have been devastating blows along the way but in spite of it all, I don’t know if I would have found religious freedom any other way. And so for that reason alone I thank the Watchtower for equipping me with the tools that helped me to so completely reject religion.

I started out by saying that I feel very lucky to have escaped the Watchtower and religion in general relatively unscathed. After considering the four groups in detail I don’t know how it is that I avoided going down an alternate path, all I can say is that I am happy that I didn’t and given the choice I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ll leave you with a favorite poem by Robert Frost. Even before this had any real meaning in my life I always found that it resonated on some deep level with me. Perhaps I instinctively knew where my journey would lead…

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.